EXCITING INTERVIEW with Aarti Narayan :)

Hello Aishwariya

Here are my replies to your questions.

1. Do tell us about your book.My book is called “The Lives She Carried” and is inspired by the story of my grandmother, my Paati Lakshmi, who became a migrant in her own country in pre-independence India, after moving thousands of kilometres from her village to a large city where she had neither a support system nor familiarity with the language. But she was farsighted enough to realise even then that mere education wasn’t enough; financial independence was critical if her daughters were to tread a different path to hers. And in their success and brave choices, she was vindicated. Paati passed away before I reached my teens so my only memories of her were of a quiet woman in a jewel-toned Madisaar who had the kindest smile. It was only much later that I grasped the full story of my grandfather’s gambling addiction, its impact on our family and my grandmother’s determination. This book is more than just my ode to my Paati, it is also meant to honour all those unsung Lakshmis in different parts of India and elsewhere in the world who have struggled to carve out a better life for their children.

2. How long did it take from conception to publication of your book? Do share some highlights.

3.5 years. I decided to document Paati’s story when I was laid up for a few months with a ski fracture. It was never intended to be a book! But with each phone call I would make to my mother, I started to gather so much material and so many anecdotes, that I had typed up close to fifty pages without even realising it. That’s when I decided to go ahead and make it a book. I am not a very disciplined writer though and I took several months off in between to do other things. In the intervening period, I was the editor of my b-school’s silver reunion yearbook, and I also had two pieces published in the NYT under their Tiny Love Stories section.

Writing the book was clearly the easy part, compared to pitching it to agents and publishers. I almost made it to a big name publishing house only to be rejected after six months of consideration! Clearly you have to grow a thick skin if you want to have your books published. After a year of this, I connected with an award-winning small press in the UK called AIM (Author In Me) run by two British-Indian ladies Monica and Ekta who decided to give my story a voice. And the highlight was my book launch at the British Library, London.

3. What are some key events from your life that prompted you to write this book?

As a child, probably the first inkling I had of a family back-story was when my mother steadfastly refused to play cards with me despite my cajoling and pleading. That’s when I discovered the full story about my Thaatha’s gambling, how he even signed away a flat in Mumbai’s Prabhadevi area and all the gritty layers accumulated over several decades slowly started peeling back. As children, we often hear adults talking about the past but it’s only much later in life that we start to put together the pieces. I too migrated, though under very different circumstances from Paati. But unlike her, I was armed with my MBA from IIM-Ahmedabad. And that made all the difference to how my life has turned out. It was then that I realised the full value of Paati’s oft-spoken words to my mother and her other children, ‘Everything you own can be taken away from you, but no one can ever steal your education.’ Even my precocious teens don’t disagree with their great-grandmother‘s words!

4. Have you done any courses or classes in writing?

No.

5. Which genre is your favorite to read?

Definitely literary fiction and historical fiction. I am a big fan of Jane Austen, Thomas Hardy, Oscar Wilde, PG Wodehouse, Georgette Heyer. All the golden oldies. I love Agatha Christie too and will always pick up anything by Philippa Gregory. Of late, I have also been reading Indian classics like Devdas, Ek Chaadar Maili Si, A Flight of Pigeons and Pinjar.

6. Which experiences in your life have you distilled in this book?

As this story is based on my family, I have interspersed the narrative with several anecdotes from both maternal and paternal sides of the family. Some were actually very funny stories that I have tried to bring to life in the book. And the epilogue is very much based on my own life, but no spoilers!

7. Could you please share details of your previously published work?I have previously published two short pieces in the New York Times’ Modern Love: Tiny Love Stories (“Grateful My Prayers Went Unanswered” dated May 14, 2024 and “Divine Protection” dated June 4, 2024.

8. Have any books on writing helped you? If yes, which ones?

I didn’t really read any books on writing. What really helped me immensely were all those decades I spent as an avid reader. I can’t remember a time when I wasn’t buried in a book. I was really lucky to have a mother who encouraged it, and an aunt who exposed me to various new authors and genres while I was growing up. I think that you really need to be a devoted reader, if you want to be a good writer. Sentence structure, nuance, dialogue, the elegance of simplicity, the use of humour, grammar, avoiding purple prose….all these are hallmarks of my favourite writers.

I could not write well if I had not read widely.

9. What were some of the challenges involved in writing this book?

Obviously the big challenge was to be authentic and factful without hurting anyone’s feelings. After all, the characters in the book are my family members! Getting the years and ages right was also not easy as Paati had so many children. But that wasn’t all.

I had to really make an effort to put myself into the shoes of my Paati, of my aunts…to see them as women in their own right, as individuals. Not as my Paati or as my Periammas, which is how they related to me while I was growing up. To give an example, my Paati was married off at fourteen. Now you can say that this was the norm a century ago. But the true horror only hit me when I remembered that I have a daughter at home who will turn fourteen in six months’ time. So that’s what I mean when I say that I had to force myself to walk in their shoes for a mile….to try and comprehend what they must have thought and felt, whether or not they were able to express it.

10. What are some things you wish you had done differently in retrospect?

So many things! I wish I had been more disciplined for starters. Then I wish I had started to research book marketing at least a year ago. I wish that I had a more solid social media presence. But it is what it is, and I think I’ve learnt a lot over the last three years. Hopefully I will also get better at all this, going forward.

For me, writing is a long-term endeavour. So I am glad my first book is out there, it’s been getting super positive feedback from whoever has read it, and best of all are the messages I keep getting from people who have said that Paati’s story reminds them of their granny too! I’ve been able to move people to tears (including those unrelated to me) and that’s the ultimate compliment a writer can hope for.

Finally, my teenage daughter, my 77 year old mother and my 92 year old Periamma all love it. Mission accomplished!