My parents are not very traditional. If you’ve met the typical Madrasi or TamBrahm couple, you will know that my parents are NOT them.
So you can hardly expect their only offspring – me – to be donning flowers in her hair and singing bhajans. I’ve studied in six schools and as a newbie student everywhere, all I ever wanted to do was fit in. When I went to primary school in Chennai, my classmates used to call me Anglo-Indian and wonder if I had visited from London or elsewhere. My mom wouldn’t wear sarees too much in her 20s. My dad was traveling most of the time. I spoke in English at home. Somehow, these traits have been normalized and even welcomed over the years but in the early 1980s, in my primary school, I stuck out like a sore thumb.
It’s happened to me in middle school, too, ‘coz I was one of two Tamilian girls in a class full of mostly Bengali girls.
It happened yet again in high school ‘coz I was doing commerce with mathematics and NOT science in a school that deified the IITs and US universities. Finally, by the time, I reached college, I knew deep down I was some kind of oddball. LOL.
I’ve always loved doing a few traditional things, for instance, going to temples. I used to go to the Maakaliamman temple in class four. I remember going to the Raamar temple with my college friend. I liked going to the temples in Kerala with my extended family. We have been going to our neighborhood temple here near our villa.
Recently, I’ve enjoyed listening to Hanuman Chalisa on YouTube or Spotify and also listening to bhajans by my primary school friend on her YouTube channel, Ami’s Choice. I feel a sense of inner peace when I listen to these chants and bhajans. I’ve also been exploring some online puja options though I haven’t tried any of them yet.
At home, my dad has always done the Saraswati puja where I’ve also kept 3-4 of my books for puja and then studied them on Vijayadashami. These are some threads of tradition that I like and I’m happy to weave them into my life.
This post is a part of Blogchatter Half Marathon 2024.
6 Responses
I can totally empathise with you, Aishwariya. I am a Tambram too and grew up in various places. The sense of belonging, ugh, it was something that I had struggled with during my childhood. I guess, we pick a little from every place and every person we meet and create our unique personality that way. We are anything but typical!
Loved your post!
Thanks, Chitra! Totally! I even describe myself on my Instagram bio as “I’m a little bit of everyone I’ve met”!
Aishwarya, I’m also a bit like you, though not completely. Having brought up in the Bong land, when I shifted to Chennai post my wedding, I stood out like a sore thumb. In fact, many people have asked my husband if ours was a love marriage because he looked like a typical tambrahm (with patta vibhuti) and I with my Jeans and Tee and the tiniest bindi possible looked like an outsider. So, I can completely empathise with you.
Janaki – 🙂
Thanks a lot dear Aishwarya for mentioning my you tube channel ‘Ami’s choice’ in your blog. I feel happy that I have been part of your time spent at peace with my chants. You have always been very encouraging and supportive in all my trials. I have always cherished your feedback on the recipes that I have posted and your sharing the outcome of your trials of my recipes. You have also shared my videos on sacred chants and Thiruppavai to your circle. I also do what is possible while trying to balance with my academic routine. I try to follow certain traditions but skip a few if I am unable to accommodate in my hectic schedule. Let’s continue to do what we can and feel happy about a few practices that give us peace. ?
Amru – <3