Back when I was in high school , one was considered “superior” if they took up science. I did love science. But after learning physics and chemistry in the ICSE syllabus in class 8, I couldn’t imagine doing this for the rest of my life. I would get jittery before the exam and be very tensed up. I would get up at 3.am and “revise”. I would get into school and still be staring into my notebook inside the school compound while all the other girls would be talking. And still I always thought I was going to flunk or get some low marks. Thankfully, this did not happen in science for me. I think I always got above 80% or at least distinction. ( I think it was above 80 percent)
It was never enough. After I got 95 percent in math and only in the high 80s in science, I was disturbed. I had expected 95 in science and late 80s in math. It made no sense. I suspected some error in the corrections. I almost sent it for re-evaluation, but I was terrified that they might make the marks lower. So I just left things as they were. And I’m glad.
But deep down all of this bothered me. I used to get dreams of writing exams for about 10 years or more after passing out. I always used to dream that I was unable to write the paper or some obstacle would pop up and mess up my marks.
I think that’s what they refer to as examination anxiety these days. I used to tell my friend circle back then that I was going to flunk my boards. But one of the boys in the group said ‘ A never knows whether she is coming or going but somehow she always does well in the exams.
Another girl said ‘ A all this partying and confusion will affect your studies’.
Now looking back I know they were well-meaning friends, but at the time, I didn’t truly understand all this. Anyway, the reason I’m saying this is so that students of today do not beat themselves up over low marks. Course Correction IS possible. But the best thing to do is listen to at least one trusted friend. Never be the girl or guy who never takes advice. Or ignores advice. Else things could go horribly wrong.
