When I think of my maternal grandma or Rajambamma as I used to call her, I remember all the letters we wrote to each other when I was a child. Honestly, I think I owe my letter-writing abilities to her. I still remember the line ‘I hope this letter finds you in good health and spirits.’ That’s from one of her letters to me. I wrote about my marks in each subject, my extra-curricular activities in school, and all the things that occupied my childhood and student life. She always replied promptly and I used to receive her letters with great joy.
I have been to Delhi almost twenty times in my life and stayed at my grandparents’ place each time. On almost every visit, my grandma, mom, and I would go to Sarojini Nagar market, Lajpat Nagar market, sometimes the Delhi zoo, the Qutub Minar, and other sightseeing spots. She always had the enthusiasm of a child for these trips. She was a lively lady who loved going out. Nothing tormented her more than being confined to the house.
She tried teaching me Carnatic music since that was her passion. Since it wasn’t mine, nothing came out of those lessons except bonding time between grandma and grandchild. She delighted me when she played ‘Choli ke peeche kya hai’ on her veena, back when the song was newly popular. I was so impressed and thrilled. I must have squealed with pleasure.
She taught me fiscal responsibility. At a time when most women didn’t even complete their education, my grandma had done her MSc in Mathematics and was a gold medalist. She taught mathematics for years until she retired as a high school Principal. I suppose the 95% I got in class 10 math is due to her genes in me, rather than any effort on my part.
She was proud and never wanted to be in a position where she had to depend on anyone else for anything – be it money or moral support. From her, I learned that it is important for a woman to be economically independent.
She balanced most aspects of her life. She had a career, a family, hobbies and a sense of achievement. She also knew crochet, sewing, how to play the veena, and an appreciation of Carnatic music.
In later years, she was also brutally frank, at least with me. I suppose it was her way of making up for everyone else indulging me. When I had ballooned after college, she was the first one to call a spade a spade and tell me I had lost my looks! She also told me not to waste money and not to be open with all and sundry. Even when I visited her in May 2018, she wanted me to stop opening up to the world on Facebook/Whatsapp. She kept track of my movements even though she was confined to a wheelchair in her last months.
I have taken all her lessons to heart. I know her last few days were tough and she suffered physical pain. I hope she is in a better place now, where she doesn’t need morphine to sleep in heavenly peace. I love her and I always will.”
Pic from Womensweb
